Why I love Emma and other things, like cupcakes, etc...

So, it's been a really long time since I've posted anything, and there's no real reason except that I'm not super inspired at the moment. School is pretty relentless, and the kids are fun but a bit wearing.

Also, Emma. Since she turned 11 in December, we have had a rough go of it. Born a grownup already, she is always annoyed by the fact that she needs to depend on me for day to day things, especially since I seem to be becoming more of a child with each passing day. She is continuously demanding (as if she is entitled to it all) things from me like new dance clothes, those damn Webkins, more time with her friends, any number of extra stupid things at the grocery store... For a while it seemed like each new day was filled with more escalating demands and subsequent disappointments A la me, and it was making me tired. This weekend, however, she did a few things that reminded me why I love my darn kid so much.

I was having a pretty bad Saturday, feeling really low and horrible. Emma, seeing the sadness disappeared for a while, busy in her room, and returned with a book she had put together entitled: 5 reasons why I love my mom. She hasn't made me a book for a long time, and so of course it was very sweet, but the best thing about it was that she wasn't asking me for anything, just telling me how much she loved me and why (which did not include buying her things, by the way). As if to reward her for her stellar behavior, her grandparents showed up a couple of hours later (a surprise visit) with a giant brand new trampoline, which made her feel like a sweepstakes winner. I'm not sure how it made me feel, but the trampoline is fun.

Later that night we went to a party and at some point, a separate dance party ensued outside on Kirstie's patio. Mostly there were adults dancing around and being silly, but then there was Emma jumping right in in the bizarre turquoise outfit she put together for the evening, and with her big, cute goofy face smiling she just sort of cracked me up. I don't know why but it made me proud to see her, to watch her interact so openly with everyone and to be so light, entertaining and funny.

I woke up on Sunday morning and for the first time in many months, I could hardly wait for her to get up so that we could hang out together. We spent the morning on the trampoline with her taking on the role of personal trainer, showing me how to do headstands and flips. Later that day she and I worked together cleaning the house. She felt a certain pride in the appliances she scrubbed until they were shiny. I was grateful for the day, and this weekend's chance to see the more light side of my little adult.

There's no real story to the cupcakes. I just feel sorry for all the times I have swindled, bargained with, begged or just plain knocked down students in the hallways at school to get to the cupcakes they bring for their birthday celebrations. Not sorry enough to stop doing it though.