a slap in the face via my own giant hand.

So, I just had a sad experience. I was sitting here at work, minding the little children as they worked on stories about themselves as a native Californian when a lovely box arrived from my favorite boho chic retailer, Anthropologie. I was so excited, I could hardly wait until lunch to open the box. When I did, I found to my joy, a bracelet that I really wanted and saw online a while ago. A wonderful person sent it to me as a gift! The gift wrapping was even fabulous, with a fun bow of yarn and buttons (which some stunningly talented homeschoolin' crafty mom probably throws away every day in the midst of her other creations, but I think it's fabulous) on top of a simple brown box.

I took the bracelet out and turned it over in my hands. As is usually the case at lunch, I had a couple of students in my room, waiting by my desk to tell me about how they lost a tooth the night before or something, and they oohed and ahhed appropriately over the bracelet.
"Try it on!" one of them yelled excitedly.
"It's so fun to get gifts.." another mused.
So, I slid the bracelet over my hand, and noted with horror that it wouldn't get past the part where my thumb bone pokes out, which I imagine is the equivalent of the too large hip/jean conundrum. I looked up at my students' expectant faces and tried gracefully to push the bracelet down farther on my hand.
" Uh, Miss Kate, I wouldn't do that if I were you." came the warning from my super logical little friend Dmitry,
"Come on, I pleaded, as though this 10 year old child somehow had influence over the bone structure of my hand, "don't you think there's anything I can do?"
I tried folding my thumb and pinky in toward each other, sliding the bracelet on and off the fingers quickly. One of my more risk taking students suggested getting soap or lotion on my hands and working the bracelet on that way. While I admired her style, and had in fact contemplated it myself, she and I had to agree that it probably wasn't the best course of action.
I put the bracelet back in the box and affixed the bow to the top as I found it and filled out the return form. Then I spent the next 15 minutes after the kids had left secretly taking the bracelet out of the box, trying it on, failing, then putting it back and re-wrapping it.

I'm trying not to take it personally, but it sure feels like I am some lurking giant in a small person's world. I know I'm not huge though. I fit in chairs well, and in most I can see the sides of the chair on either side of my thighs. I exercise fairly often, so why these freak show hands? Is there something I can do besides be sad about this I wonder? Hand exercises? Stretching rubber bands, maybe? Now every time I look at my hands, like right now, as they pound away at the keyboard, I see catcher's mitts instead. When will it end????