Let's talk about s...

Okay, so it was off on bikes today to the country to shake whatever weird funk I've developed. I hate to be unfair to the Dutch because I'm some kind of fucked up American who can't get over herself and have a good time, so I set out today, determined to turn it all around.

You know, it might have worked, because I think I'm better today, well tonight, actually, after the ride. For starters, it was finally a sunny day, so that made me immediately happier. Then, I got out of the mouth house, which could only be helpful. I love the Dutch bike I ride too, which is also a plus. The bike has a ton of black electrical tape on nearly every part of it, for reasons still unknown to me, and to ride it I have to sit completely upright, which is quite different from the road bike I normally ride. I also get to grip the gigantic mustache handle bars, which are so fun. Also, even though its only one gear and loaded down with saddlebags, it's surprisingly nimble and fun to ride around.

So, we set out, riding out of Utrecht for the countyside. I was happy enough, enjoying the day with my daughter in front of me, the only person in the Netherlands wearing a helmet, when I noticed some little houseboats on the canal. I thought how great it would be to live by the canal, on a fun little house boat. I was thinking this, much like Winnie the Pooh, when I wondered out loud why a hot lady in Barbarella underwear was out hanging her laundry. Then, I wondered why every woman in the area seemed to be without any clothing. It was only when I saw the enormous dildos in the window of one of the charming houseboats and the woman with the thigh high boots and thong when I realized that I was in the red light district of Utrecht.

Now, ordinarily, I would have exclaimed in glee, because I am a huge fan of prostitutes, as anyone who knows me will attest. I don't know why, I just find them so fascinating. In fact, one of my favorite ways to "play around" is to play prostitute, complete with fancy underwear, high heels and the like. It just does something for me.

However, today, it left me flat. There was also a sister tragedy associated with it, in that I lost a little of my once abundant love for the male sex. This happened because in this particular red light district, men drove around in cars in a long line, in circles, picking out which houseboat to go to. Sheesh, even as I write this, I should be turned on given my proclivities, but it was just so gross to have it in my face that way. The men just seemed like any other dog looking to stick it in something, anything, and the girls just looked like they were incredibly bored.

I have to sit with this more to see what it really means to me, but for now it's just filed under 'interesting.' I'm sure I'll have more comments on it. I haven't even been to Amsterdam's red light district yet. I was excited in talking about it at home, but now I don't know...

At least the ride was fun, windmills, little perfect towns and lots of goats and cattle. I may be improving.