I'm listening to one of my fourth grade boys speak super enthusiastically about some video game he was playing last night that has to do with dragon eggs and undead spiders. I found that as he was speaking, I was drawn to some really large, oily stains on the knees of his pants (you have to imagine the pants for a minute, they are the ones that zip off on the bottom for convenience, as you would expect) so against my better judgment, I asked him, "what are those, uh, stains on your pants?" After no pause at all, he replied, "butter." Like it was the most natural thing in the world.