Stage Fright

So, we don't have faculty bathrooms at my school, which means that adults have to use the same bathrooms as the kids. In the past, this fact hasn't really bothered me, even though I'm certain it should have. Today, however, I genuinely got a bit rattled.

It was lunch and I went to the bathroom before going into the staff room to listen to the usual inane conversation of my fellow teachers. As I was walking in, so was a little Kindergarten aged girl. She waved at me, and I noticed that she had a bag of crackers in her hand. I remember thinking with horror that she was going to bring the bag of crackers into the bathroom with her. I think I even shuddered a bit. So, I got into my stall and sat down to pee when I saw a bare foot. Yes, it's not enough that she had crackers, she was also barefoot! While I was waiting for that uncomfortable feeling to pass, I realized that the reason I was even seeing her foot in the first place was because she was staring at me through a sizable crack in the stall door. I didn't say anything at first, I just put on my most stern face and shook my head, No.

So, she sort of moved out of my line of vision and took her place in the stall next to me and then started to try to have a conversation with me. It went like this:

Girl: Guess who is coming to my house tonight?

Me: Before we talk, I need to know that you are aware that it's not okay to look at people while they are going to the bathroom.

Silence

Girl: Guess who is coming to my house tonight?

Me: Maybe you aren't getting this, I can't talk to you until I know you know it's not okay to look at people while they pee.

Silence

Me: Do you understand?

Girl: Yeah. O.K. (pause) So, guess who is coming to my house?

Me: Who?

Girl: Grammy!

Me: That's great, sweetie, have a fun time with your Grammy.

Then she left, of course without washing her hands. Immediately afterwards, an adult came in to the bathroom and I was struck with the knowledge that this run-in with the five-year-old left me with a good old fashioned case of stage fright. It took another two minutes before I could pee.