February sucks.

I don't know why, but as much as I work at it, I can't make February feel like a successful month for me. In terms of teaching, I'm totally burned out. Even though we have had Christmas break and everything, it just feels like I'm in lock-step mode right now and nothing is inspiring me. Today in my Pre Algebra class, I got so frustrated early on that I had to stop everything and "start over". When we "start over" (which happens periodically) the kids and I set down all our things and walk out of the building, stand outside the front doors of the school and take three deep breaths before walking back in and literally starting the entire class over. I felt better after doing that today, but I think I'm going to take tomorrow off. I seriously feel like I could (and maybe should) sit and stare out a window for hours.

I have to say that this last weekend was fun, because my band played at a local bar. Sadly,we didn't get paid though, because all the cash we made had to go towards the release of our third cd, which will finally happen in June. I did have a hanger-on try to follow me out to my car after the show (score!), but my friend/bandmate walked me out so I felt safe and all was okay.

I was asked, this weekend, to be part of another band which has people "my age" in it. I'm honestly flattered and surprised by this. They are going for a Blondie type sound and I would get to be the lead singer instead of doing backup and occasional lead like I do now. I'm thinking about it, but the band I'm currently in feels like such a sweet 12 person family, I would hate to leave it for the unknown.

I don't know, sometimes I'm not sure if maybe I, at some point, when I'm out of debt, should leave my teaching job and try to make it as a singer though. I could volunteer in my daughter's class during the day and play the occasional gig at night. I wonder if February would still be as lame as it is now if I was a rock star?